LOVE..............(TO EVERYONE) !!!

LOVE is something which I don't understand..it is so different !!! Love hurts the most..and is also the best pain killer. Why do some people call it a game?Is it always necessary that one should win or lose in love?I personally feel that love is stupid..it isint about the words we say,the actions we take,the things we do,the hearts we break..its about people who can look at each other and just know !!!(My fav quote on love-Love is giving someone the chance to destroy you and trusting them not to)Sometimes the hardest thing to do are the things that really matter.I have grown to understand what love is yet always fail in it !!Love was all about looks for me..but I grew to understand that love is something beyond that...heart,soul!!!The astonishing fact is that people change..fuck the looks..but by their heart,their character,their behaviour .... this amazes me.Change is inevitable ...if this is so then how will love survive?What if someday a person wakes up and feels no longer love for you?Well this can happen..but this is certainly not love.


Actually what inspired me to write on love is that I started believing in love..I feel it truly exists.Sometimes its not meant to work..but not all the time.Being lonely is the worst feeling in life.I suddenly started feeling a weird thing in me..all my life I hated kids,complained about marriage,feared being old and scared of death.Maybe now I see life from a different perspective..its not the same now.Its a fresh new beginning where there is no vengeance.At some point or the other,everyone gets back the way they deserve,I believe in this,so why waste time on hatred?There is someone who knows what you are going through ,the way you have been cheated or treated ..there is someone who is gonna act on behalf of us.Sometimes we cant judge whats right and wrong..many a times we feel we are right..but we are not ..we are mostly blind to our faults.I think this is where love comes into the picture..your loved one's correct you,guide you,accept you despite your faults.Love is not only having fun..its also sharing sorrows..being there for one another.My mom once told me that if you have been stepped on,that doesn't mean that the person went ahead of you,someday somewhere sometime that person is going to face the same but even more harder !!I had some hatred in me..but now I think its a waste of time..some people don't deserve to run in my head.


Don't settle for the one you can live with..wait for the one you can't live without.So the happy part is that i am still living...guess I dint find anyone worth dying for.I can't live with people who say things and never mean it or those words which once said makes no sense to them or those who feel good about the fact that they get out of a relationship smoothly or say the chicken hearted ones (lol).Learn to face the shit you created !!

LIFE IS TOO SHORT..JUST LOVE AND FORGIVE !!!

"Happiness is enhanced by others, but does not depend upon others. "

True..so true !! Somebody once told me "you don't have to bear people you don't like"..seriously why pretend??? I have done that so many times..I wont completely agree to the pretending part but I have tolerated a few people who dint deserve the pain I took to bear them.Some people are like pain in the ass.Sometimes I think of making a list and putting it up on facebook..but NO that's rude ! You know what I love the most in me..everyone i dislike knows that I dislike them..its easy to point it out in my case.The symptoms are :

1.I don't talk much
2.I don't eat or drink anything that is offered to me
3.I sit and think about when I get to leave that place
4.I put on a very fake smile

Anyways,today I want to talk about happiness and love.I thought a lot about it last night and came to the conclusion that only love can get you happiness and only being happy and spreading happiness everywhere can get you love and acceptance from others.If someone leaves you,it doesn't mean that its the end of your life.There is a purpose for everything that happens in our lifes.Today from the place where I stand , I feel what ever I have accomplished is due to the failure I had faced in my life.

I had the worst day yesterday.All my life i had heard of people making fun of my school(UNITED INDIAN SCHOOL/ U.I.S) but yesterday I got to know why we were made fun off.Our school consists of only malayalis(and this is certainly not something to be made fun of)..I love mallus..I had always been with them.But yesterday's mallu gang was the heights . Personally no issues with any one of them..we were minding our own business..but there was this one cheap ass , wannabe mallu who irritated me.You know what I hate the most in him? Its that you just add the letter "E" to my name and that becomes his name..wow..was his dad thinking about me when he was naming his son???For a moment I wished to be a mallu and then the next moment I realised that it would only embarrass me and nothing else.

Happy??yea..why not???So many reasons for it..for example:am being so much encouraged to continue writing my blog and also being appreciated(by my friends lol),am getting the cell phone of my dreams,am gonna get graduated soon,now a days 'I ask and I receive'(thank you DAD),I feel I no longer miss anyone,am going to shop on next Thursday,I found the exact lipstick I was looking for,I get my size of jeans everywhere,suddenly ITS BEEN RAINING MEN ! , I might go to Bangalore in June (and also get a tattoo and belly piercing) etc etc...lol

MEN WHO TURN YOU OFF !!!

1.Men who watch MTV ROADIES
2.Men who like flowers
3.Men who can fight but doesn't
4.Men who can't keep their word
5.Men who flirt all the time...sometimes is fine !!
6.Men who got a bad taste in dressing
7.Men who accept their defeat even before they are defeated
8.Men who act like Mr.Bean
9.Men who tell a filmy dialogue when in a serious situation
10.The guy who sent me this message on facebook -
"Hmm Ma name is ****** U can Call me ****..!! m styng in manipal..!! actly frm singapore India is ma mother land nd singapore is ma 2nd homw town..!! M styng in manipal with ma auntys house..!! Ma parents r in singapore..!! ma dad hav own ship yaards n ships in singapore..!! n Ma mom is DR. in singapore.!! N i've intrst in tattooing m gng 2 stdy prfsnl course tattooing in thialnd n DJ course 2..!! N i love hang out frnds n i Love clubbing 2 d core...!! Cn v b frndz dea :) "

AHHMEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

MATERIAL GIRL !!!!

Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me
I think they're O.K.
If they don't give me proper credit
I just walk away

They can beg and they can plead
But they can't see the light, that's right
'Cause the boy with the cold hard cash
Is always Mister Right, 'cause we are


Living in a material world
And I am a material girl
You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl

Some boys romance, some boys slow dance
That's all right with me
If they can't raise my interest then I
Have to let them be

Some boys try and some boys lie but
I don't let them play
Only boys who save their pennies
Make my rainy day, 'cause they are

Living in a material world
And I am a material girl
You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl


Boys may come and boys may go
And that's all right you see
Experience has made me rich
And now they're after me, 'cause everybody's

Living in a material world
And I am a material girl
You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl

A material, a material, a material, a material world

Living in a material world
Living in a material world !!!!

SHOPPING !!!

shopping is an art..only practice makes you better!!over the years i have mastered this art..and am so proud of it !!!!!!

yesterday was "only shopping " day for me...all i did was shop.thanks to my aunt who equally enjoys shopping like I do.I got a suitcase full of clothes ..i don't even have enough place to store them!who cares...i can buy a new closet !!!

shopping makes me forget all my troubles..i always do it when am stressed..its more better than yoga . trust me on that...i remember the day before my exams..i was so tensed..so u know what i did to get over my tension.what i hate doing the most is shopping for others..everything i buy for others i feel will look good on me.. i know am being greedy and selfish..what can i do???its clothes after all...and one more thing i hate doing is going shopping with friends..i prefer to be alone when i choose my clothes..people confuse me..i know what looks best on me and when i don't, i know on whom it will look the best..so i gift it to them(lol)......


see am not a bad girl when it comes to shopping..its my second love.(first love is self love isint it?)what can i do if i love myself so much..???why shouldn't i??i fall in love fast but get out of it even more faster..this is so true..even my Chinese horoscope says so about me.but am so deeply committed to myself and shopping..maybe i never found anyone or anything better than my first two love..long time back i thought i did..but NO WAYS !!shopping is way better...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.

A man dies daily, only to be reborn in the morning, bigger, better and wiser.So true..today am bigger,better and wiser(lol may be). .

Today was a great day..felt so good.I realized that anyone can do anything in their life if they want to.People try to put u down..those are not your enemies..they only help you to grow stronger and better.There are also people who support you..we call them friends.I had a proper mixture of both..lol i dont know what bullshit am writing ..ha ha ha...i just thought i would make my blog inspirational today ..that's why i googled for an appropriate caption.Anyways let me be original now..so yea today ...today was a good day..loved it..!!! So excited about going shopping tomorrow..shopping is one thing that makes me so happy and forget all my worries..even buyin a pair of socks makes me happy.

Am so blank today..maybe I will come up with something better tomorrow..Good night!!

CANCER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frankly...i don't know how it happens but all i know is that when it happens , a person is gone (if not known at an early stage).i know i am writing after a very long time and that too i chose to write about cancer..weird ! actually the very thought of how dangerous cancer proves to be has deeply moved me..in fact it was an all CANCER DAY for me yesterday. all i heard about was cancer,all i spoke about was cancer,all i read about was cancer,all i thought about was cancer,all i dreamt about was cancer and bla bla bla...


Let me elaborate myself here..


1.first thing my mom told me in the morning was "come soon from MC.Donald's cause Bosco uncle's wife's requiem mass is in salmiya and we have to go for it" and guess what? yea she died due to cancer (may her soul R.I.P)






2.we were at Apurva's house.Kiwi says "i gotta leave by 4.30 cause my aunt who once had cancer is coming to visit me "





3.then we go to our 12Th grade teacher's house.she told me something which completely broke me down.A girl in my school who left a long time back to London was dead due to cancer..i never knew her personally but that moment i felt that she was my best friend..i could see her picture in front of my eyes...the dead old memories were so fresh and alive.i couldn't express this to anyone because i wasn't sure of what i was feeling.that moment was indescribable and one of those rare moments in my life.

hope that she is having a good time up there .. may her soul rest in peace !!!
MISS YOU SHAHNAZ!








4.And then lastly..as usual i was watching a movie before i sleep and guess which one it had to be ..."A WALK TO REMEMBER".Gosh why did Mandy Moore have to die because of cancer???why not aids?or a kidney failure?i fell in love with Shane west..actually i fell in love with the love that Mandy Moore and Shane west portrayed in that movie.

this was all about my CANCER DAY celebrated on 3.05.2010! i think i will always remember this day..i don't think anyone reads my blog but if someone ever comes across this one , all am gonna say is that go for a routine check up.u lose nothing..maybe a few drops of blood but those few drops may save your life!!!