I consider early childhood events as most essential to a man's scientific and philosophical development.I was born in Kuwait on July 19Th,1990 at 3.15 am, in the farwaniya hospital.Me my daddy's only girl.Having two brothers who were totally protective like the way brothers should be.Naturally , Mommy was always inclined towards the boys.That troubled me when i was small but now have understood the world and its ways.Daddy did nothing but thought about us and our future and our life and so on.He is my hero.They were supremely tolerant of my inordinate love for animals.Its in the family actually.
Went to an Indian school when i was 3.Like most of the kids,even i hated school then but fell in love with it when the time came to leave it forever(13 years makes a Big deal).Those 13 years introduced me to myself.At school, I met one important person who changed the shape of my life.I fell for the first lie he told me.At 12 i couldn't make out whats a lie so gradually fell for it.Boy .... i really loved him !!! Dreamt of him,Spoke about him,Fought for/with him ,Kissed him ,Cried for him ...after 6 years finally forgot him.It wasn't that easy..trust me !!! I had gained alot through him..a bad name (eg:bitch,slut,flirt) !!! All accepted...people don't lie..do they???Sometimes i wonder about all this..was i immatured or was i too matured ???well these questions are for me to answer to myself.In this duration i had made some good friends as well as some bad friends..both of which aren't in my life now..nor were they then..so i categorise them into bad friends.This wasn't the only experience I got from life..had many more but they were never important to me(yea, call me a flirt now).Most of the time life taught me in the hardest way possible but i wont totally agree to it.Its not been that bad as well.
In 11Th grade i was introduced to fun !!Parents were lenient as they understood that their pampered daughter is aware of her responsibilities and it was high time to let her loose.Made a couple of really good friends.Here in this context, i have to mention Faisal's name.He had been with me from the very beginning till the end.Most of the time people misunderstood our friendship but that dint make our relationship weak..because we believed in each other and not in what others blabbered.
On finishing high school, I was still obsessed with fun and love and friends.But all good things must come to an end.Forced into a college were i could never survive(REASON FOR COMPULSION-YOU ARE TOO SMALL TO TRAVEL SO BETTER JOIN A COLLEGE NEAR TO YOUR HOUSE).Yes,from here it all started.I have lost myself.The girl who wouldn't let anybody see her unless she was in her proper form is going to college with her hair done in the most ugly style,the girl who would never step out of her house without having the shine of gloss on her lips is walking on the road with chapped lips,lazy to wax,clothes which makes her look like 40 year old aunt(i wont agree to this completely thou)..this is the present me.It has almost been 10 months of this kind of life..in other words..10 months of this torture.
It would be inequitable of me to mention another twist in the tale which left me shattered(only for 2 days).Out of the 10 months mentioned above..9 months were lost in some one's fake love and care.I am too ashamed to mention the name as well..as he is int worth it.Wish i had realised this long back but happy that i dint...or else God knows how those 10 months would have passed.But it was a great time pass..thou i gave my heart,body,mind and soul in that relationship.Met him just once..i thought the basis of our relation was trust.Love is said to be blind..yea i was blinded.When i saw his face for the first time personally, someone donated me their eyes...i still remember that ugly face.But again...love is int all about the looks.This is what i told to myself and i still believe in the same.I don't change my opinions just for the sake of one guy.I'm like the preacher who practice what he preaches.Well the ending of this story was sudden..without any rational reason but happy that its over..or else fatema would have said ' i dint know ur choice was so ugly'!!!!But i know my friends...they accept any shit for me...but this time for a change the shit left me for my good !!!(lolz)
Now I'm alone..not that i don't have any friends or a boy friend...actually yes..i dont have any friends nor boy friends.I'm surviving and that's important.I believe in living for yourself..i know someday its all going to fall my way.NO HURRY DAN !!!Now lets turn back and see what have i learned.What???NAAAA...i never turn back.Its just one more month to go..and i will get my old Dan back..the bitcy one!!!I miss her.No one to guide me..no one to tell me what is to be done.Will miss my parents for sure but life doesn't stop there.I think i am falling into the web again..maybe not.Just because you were cheated in love once,twice,thrice ... doesn't mean u shouldn't love at all.I like someone,he said he liked me for long but now its unlike the interest he had in me when i was dating someone.Realities of life is really bitter.Someone said ,'Dan,you take your time..don't be dependant on any guy for u know what they do to you in the end'.Another girl said ,'just be yourself...don't let the boy games trouble you' while another said 'do what your heart says'.I am not dependant on anyone..i am my own self and i always do what my heart says.
This is not all about me..many more to come.This is what mostly everyone faces in their life..nothing new.Its just that when it happens ,you feel your the only one suffering and the main reason to that is you live only once !!!
No comments:
Post a Comment